Michael Phelps sex symbol; he says not

Ok, Michael Phelps is finally home! He squeezed into one of his teeny tiny super low speedos and had a swim work out for the first time since forever. Michael Phelps splashed down in the water this week for the first time since the Beijing Olympics – and says: "It was painful."

At his hometown pool in Baltimore, the super sexy swimming champ, age 23, unveiled a new series of Kellogg's cereal boxes Thursday morning and admitted, "I'm a little out of shape. But I will be able to get back. I am going to start working out more." I, for one, would love to see Michael Phelps with a kissable tummy pudge. I will look for pictures and post anything I can find.

Michael Phelps the tiger, is now sharing box fronts with Tony the Tiger. He was also presented a $250,000 check from the Kellogg company for his newly formed Michael Phelps Foundation, a charity aimed at promoting youth swimming.

From what I understand, this foundation remains Michael Phelps's number one focus until he begins training in 2009 for the 2012 Olympics. In a testament to his commitment to the Michael Phelps foundation he says "I think the little guys, the kids in the world, are going to be me in 10 years or so," he says. "So I'm just trying to promote a happy, healthy lifestyle." So sweet. While the Michael Phelps Foundation is important and admirable it’s not really very interesting. What are interesting are Michael’s comments on his love life.

And of course, what is really interesting are any hints that Michael Phelps might be GAY along with our more sordid interest in seeing "michael phelps naked". While he wouldn't talk about his dating life, Phelps lit up when asked about Herman – his English bulldog – who lived with friends over the summer. "I'm going to see him today," Phelps gushed. Ok, Ok, gushing over your dog is so diversionary that it is silly. We have all at one time of another been devoted to a pet but really……… Me thinks if Michael was so devoted to Herman he would have visited once or twice over the past month. Clearly his nonsense gushing is to divert attention from his actual love life.

Does anyone agree with me?

Admittedly shy by nature, Michael Phelps said his fame has been a constant surprise. According to People Magazine he went on to say "It’s different. It's fun. I'm enjoying the ride." Kinda like being on a rocket ship ride I would think!

People Magazine went on to ask Michael Phelps about all of the female attention he has been receiving since the Beijing Olympics. And guess what he said???????? You won’t believe what he said. I don’t believe what he said and I’m pretty sure that even Michael Phelps doesn’t believe what he said. He said……are you ready? He said "I don’t really notice it. When I go out, go to dinner, I go out with friends, and we stay to ourselves. I don’t think of myself as a sex symbol. My mom is by far the most important woman in my life."

Holy Michael Phelps must be gay, Batman!! First things first, how can Michael Phelps not notice the attention he is getting? How can he not notice that pictures of Michael Phelps nearly naked are everywhere. There can’t be another person on the face of the plant that appears in the news daily wearing such a skimpy, barely covering his noodle speedo. No man ever forgets his noodle so we all know that Michael Phelps knows that whole world has seen him almost naked.

Second thing, Michael Phelps spoke gay. According to beloved Michael, Debbie Phelps is the most important woman in his life! That is adorable and everything, but it is sooooooo GAY. Only a gay man would say that his mother was the most important woman in his life. And Gay ol’ Michael Phelps said his mother was BY FAR the most important woman in his life. Gay ditty Gay Gay! So Michael Phelps didn’t actually say he was gay, but he did the next best thing by engaging in undeniable gayspeak, we conjecture wishfully.

Am I the only one to come to this conclusion about Michael Phelps?

Oct. 4 to be hometown day for Michael Phelps

Wow, Michael Phelps the swimming super hasn’t been home yet? That doesn’t make sense. He must be tired. And I read a month ago that he missed his dog. Who is looking after the dog while Michael Phelps plays with the bunnies ... Michael Phelps and the Playboy Bunnies that is ? Does the dog know about the Bunnies? And, as I always end up asking, do you think there might have been a chance that the playboy bunnies saw Michael Phelps naked? OOOOOH I hope not ... not before me!! So many questions! Michael just go home.

So it now appears that Michael Phelps will in fact make it home. The homecoming celebrations for our Olympian hero will be October 4th, and tens of thousands are expected, officials said. I guess that means his whole town! The world media says Michael Phelps is from Baltimore but we know better. He is from Towson, dude.

The "Parade of Gold" will be in Michael Phelps hometown, and will be followed by a "Star-Spangled Salute" with music and fireworks at Fort McHenry later that evening. There seems to be very little chance that we will be able to see Michael Phelps naked at this event.

Mr. Phelps won a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics last month. The events next month also will honor fellow swimmer and Olympic silver-medalist Katie Hoff, of Towson, and Paralympic gold-medalist Jessica Long, of Middle River. I find is unreal that these little towns produced 3 medal winning Olympians in swimming! They must grow them fast and strong there.

County, city and state officials are asking businesses to contribute $300,000 for the events. Whaaaa ? Obviously, there should be a parade for the Olympians but does it really cost $300,000.00 for a parade? Seems a bit steep to me. Just think of other good things that could be done with 300K.

Michael Phelps mother, Debbie Phelps, said athletes are models for the next generation and she is proud of her son sending out a message of believing in one's self. That, of course, is true. But we all know that Debbie Phelps is the one who taught Michael to believe in himself. I hope Debbie gets to go in the parade. Maybe $300,000 could even rent her one of those fancy convertible boats with horns on the front. White would be best ... you know, it's not going to clash with anything she wears. Always try to find a huge white convertible if you're going in a parade.

Baltimore County Executive James T. Smith Jr now thinks that Towson is now the center of the swimming universe and that he watched the swimming at the Olympics while he recovered from heart-bypass surgery. "I couldn't have asked for better therapy," he said. We all hope Mr. Smith completely recovers and starts to exercise a bit.

Mr. Smith was joined for the announcement in the library of Mr. Phelps' alma mater by Gov. Martin O'Malley and Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon, the school's marching band and cheerleaders. I think it’s so cute when schools have marching bands. Can these bands play standing still or sitting, or do they always have to be marching? Do schools with marching bands also have sitting bands for the un-co-ordinated kids who can’t walk and play without huge marching band pile-up disasters? I’ve always thought marching bands are like music class and gym class at once. I wonder if they have a long distance debating teams …. ok enough, back to Michael Phelps.

As a student at the school, Mr. Phelps was low-key and down to earth, said Principal Jane N. Barranger. Their nickname for him is the "Golden General" after the school's mascot. They named him after a mascot? How dumb. Oh well, the school has a marching band so it’s still very cute.

"We all knew he was going to go to the Olympics," Mrs. Barranger said. After the Athens Olympics it was a very good guess, she failed to add.

Some of the students who attended the announcement said the fact that Michael Phelps hometown-hero status makes his achievements especially inspiring. "He walked the same halls I walk, " said Janae Johnson, a 17-year-old senior. "It makes it more real."
Michael Phelps is a genuine swimming hero and I hope he gets a hero’s welcome when he gets home, and that would definately including a marching band.

Michael I'll be your frosted flake

The announcement that Olympic Michael Phelps will be pitching Kellogg's Frosted Flakes instead of the traditional athlete's choice of Wheaties has left many perplexed and pissy.

Given that I’m a frosted flake (if you haven't noticed by now) I think the relationship is wonderful and perpetuates my fantasy of Mike being a frosted flake too. (well, that is second to my fantasy of seeing michael phelps naked) However, there are those that don’t agree with me.

Apparently, Frosted Flakes has three times the amount of sugar as Wheaties and 1/3rd the fiber!! Who knew?

Phelps is now being criticized by health experts who are worried about the message he'll be sending to children across America. As we know, childhood obesity is becoming quite the problem in America and Phelps giving the thumbs up to sugary cereal sends the wrong message, experts say.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think kids are fat because they sit on their tushes playing video games and watching TV all day and eats mounds of crap and drink buckets of pop. And, at the end of the day it's up to mom and dad not to buy crap for their kids, right?

And don’t we think that seeing all those great Micheal Phelps pictures that have proliferated the interweb since the 2008 Olympics has done enough to promote fitness for kids?

Give me a break! It’s not like he’s promoting cigarettes, or booze, or even Doritos!

Will Michael Phelps be Naked on Tonight’s SNL?

Today’s buzz is about tonight’s show and a certain special host’s skit costumes. Yup, that right, darling Michael Phelps is hosting Saturday Night Live tonight, and the whole world is a-twitter.

Saturday Night Live cast member Kristen Wiig has been counting the minutes, or so she says until the NBC show returns this weekend. And I have been pretty darn excited about it myself.

"I'm excited to meet Michael Phelps!" she told people at the Toronto Film Festival. "He's gonna be naked in all the sketches I write, for sure." Or maybe just wearing a Wiig?

There was no chance of Michael Phelps being naked on Oprah or the VMAs but maybe SNL? The 23-year-old Phelps, our eight gold medal hero at the 2008 Summer Olympics, will have plenty of costume changes. Various news sources and bloggers have confirmed that Michael will be wearing very small speedos and is doing an AquaMan skit. I will be wildly disappointed if he doesn’t wear something wildly small.

And while Phelps may not have any acting experience, Wiig is sure he'll do just fine, and so are we. "I love having athletes there because they're trying something new," she explained. "It's fun to see someone that you have seen do so well in ... sport come on and do something they've never done before. It's very rewarding."

Wiig sounds very sweet. We hope she gets to work with a naked Michael Phelps. One thing is for sure, Michael Phelps on Saturday Night Live will give them a huge ratings bump. Hmmmm, just like the bump in Michael Phelps’ speedo!?

What is the value of eight golds in Beijing ?

This could buy beloved Mrs. Phelps a lot of baubles.

Michael Phelps gorgeous hot bod just got a bit hotter. How much hotter?

Well, Michael Phelps and his hot spectacular swimsuit model bod just got like $100 million dollars hotter!

Michael Phelps agent stated, “What is the value of eight golds in Beijing before a prime-time audience in the US? I’d say 100 million dollars over the course of his lifetime.” Wow.

His agent said that he’s been getting around 50 offers a day. 50 offers a day! That’s like an offer every 12 minutes over a 10 hour day. Nowif that doesn't buy him more fans, I don't know what will!!!

Michael already has deals with Speedo, Hilton, Omega and Kellogs. One industry expert said that if he leaves Speedo, Nike could pay him up to $50 million. Hmm, if he can get $50 million in one shot then isn’t $100 million shooing a bit low?

And if those are for the skimpy bathing suit shots, me thinks it's going to be out of my price range to arrange a naked photo shoot of Michael Phelps. Dang.

Wardrobe Malfunction ?

Michael Phelps had a wardrobe malfunction? Whaaaaaa? Outta my way !

When we first heard of Phelps’ wardrobe malfunction, we got a little excited. Ok, a lot excited. Did his speedo come off during the race? Am I in heaven? Am I finally going to see Micheal Phelps naked?

Sadly, we didn’t see Michael Phelps’naked. His wardrobe malfunction wasn’t what we all hoped! This hot bod does wear his speedos awfully low, which some people (wink, wink) like! It really wouldn’t take much for that skimpy lycra to catch a pull and unravel.

Unfortunately it was just his goggles! In the 200 m butterfly, water flooded into Michael Phelps’ goggles. Phelps referred to this as a “wardrobe malfunction”.

Funny guy, Phelps said that he just did not strap his goggles on properly. Phelps was grateful for the 2sec comfort zone he had on the world going into the race, to make up for this mistake. Phelps swam the last two laps of the 200 butterfly virtually blind because his goggles had filled with water.

I would never have wanted anything to interfere with Michael’s quest for Olympic Gold but I’m kinda wishing for a little more exciting wardrobe malfunction in a smaller meet….like State Championships. He would probably be grateful of any technical assistance I offered up, even though that would blow any chances of seeing michael phelps nakes. Ah, the sacrifices I am willing to make!

Oooooh Michael Phelps ALMOST Naked!

Well, this is very exciting. We're getting very close to our goal of seeing michael phelps naked. We're not going to give up, I'm constantly on the lookout for the best 'almost naked' shots of michael. While I'm working hard on that, just enjoy this super cute pic of michael's butt ...