Michael Phelps Naked

Michael Phelps Loses to the Arena X-Glide Swim Suit

2009-07-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

Michael Phelps lost an international swimming race for the first time in 4 years but the loss was not fair by a long measure. The new polyurethane swim suits are turning the Rome World Aquatic Championships are into a farce. Michael and his coach are so stinking mad that they are refusing to compete internationally until FINA bans the illegal swim suits once and for all. The picture to the right was taken from the Globe and Mail and speaks volumes. Michael Phelps is rightly upset.

However, lets be honest, the damage is done. World records have been smashed to smithereens in the past few days. Once the illegal swim suits have been banned these world records will continue to stand for years. Will FINA do the right thing and erase all of the world records attained by swimmers wearing the illegal swim suits? They should but I doubt it very much. FINA is giving it's blessing to cheaters and everyone who cares about the integrity of sport should be alarmed.

This year in Rome, it's not about the swimmers, the news high lights about the swim suits. How very sad for the swimmers. These new swim suits are faster, more high-tech and made of materials that trap air and allow for better buoyancy.

Michael Phelps's defeat came in the 200-metre freestyle event against Paul Biedermann from Germany. Michael was wearing the same Speedo LZR suit he wore at the Beijing Olympic Games while Biedermann wore one of the new full-body polyurethane suits.

After the loss, Michael was clearly upset and his coach was beside himself. Michael said he would finish his events at the world championships but would then withdraw from all international meets until “swimming gets back to swimming.” His coach, Bob Bowman couldn't agree more. He released a statement saying “My recommendation to [Phelps] is not to swim internationally until this is resolved.”

The issue of these illegal suits has been debated by the swim world and the swim authorities at FINA for the past year. In 2009, an extraordinary number of swimming world records have been smashed. An unbelievable 15 world records have been broken in just the first three days of the acquatic world championships. Michael was expected to lower his personal best time in the 200-metre freestyle but was easily handled by Biedermann who set a world-record of 1 minute 42 seconds.

Biedermann was wearing the same Arena X-Glide suit he wore days earlier when he lowering Ian Thorpe’s seven-year-old world record by 1.27 seconds. He basically admitted that he won and set records because of the new illegal swim suit. Beidermann spoke to reporters about his suit after winning his first gold medal saying smuggly: “FINA allowed it. It’s not my problem.”

The Speedo LZR suit was the water-shedding miracle swim suit that helped produce 108 world records in 2008. However, this swim suit was different and Speedo developed the swim suit with integrity. For example, Speedo worked with FINA to ensure that its suit didn’t float or provide extra assistance to the swimmers. Speedo did not want their swim suit to provide an unfair advantage. Arena, Adidas and Jaked wanted to get on the bandwagon and they began producing new innovative swim suit designs. However Arena, Adidas and Jaked forgot that sport is about fair play and swimming championships should reward the fastest swimmer.

These new suits are designed to be better than swimming naked. They reduce drag and stabilize muscles for a distinct advantage. Most illegally, these swim suits float!! FINA agreed yesterday to impose a ban on these illegal swim suits. This new ban will ensure that all swim suits are made of textiles (still to be defined by FINA). The suits will not be allowed to have zippers or fasteners and athletes cannot wear two suits at the same time. There can also be no custom modifications to any suit.

However without explanation, FINA officials stunned the swimming world by saying the ban wouldn’t be enforced until next April or May. I'm sure there is some collective head scratching going on. What's the point in delaying the ban?

Michael's coach wasn’t happy to hear that the ban would be delayed a year as the ban was originally set to begin on Jan. 1, 2010. Bowman angrily sputtered “I want swimming to go back to racing. This move to April is unacceptable,” he said. “You can’t trust what they say. It might be never"

The German Biedermann's performances at the world championships have been liken to “technological doping.” In smashing Thorpe’s 400-freestyle record Biedermann posted a 6.5-second improvement in just 12 months. When asked about Biedermann's eye popping improvement Michael Phelps said: “Usually you don’t see 6 seconds dropped in the 400 in a year. I think he was in the final of the 200 free last year [in Beijing] and he’s dropped like three seconds in that, so he’s having a good meet.”

The illegal-swim suit assault on swimming’s world record book has drawn the disgust of many observers. Britain’s national performance director Michael Scott sarcastically predicted 99 per cent of swimming’s world records will set in Rome. In an unusual act of protest, the French sports newspaper L’Equipe is not reporting any world mark set in Rome if it involves the use of an illegal swim suit. American and Australian coaches have suggested that the new records are “a joke”. It sounds like poor Beidermann might end up like Milli Vanilli-splashy but quickly seen as a farce and then just as quickly forgotten.

For the sake of the integrity of competitive swimming the Jaked swim suit and the polyurethane Arena X-Glide swim suit should be banned immediately. Swimmers with integrity will refuse to wear these illegal swim suits and Michael Phelps will be welcomed back to international swimming.

Michael Phelps Wears Surf Shorts Swim Suit

2009-07-16T04:57:00.000-07:00

Michael Phelps is wearing a different sort of swim suit these days. We think it looks great. I looked at this picture for a long time thinking something was amiss. It took me a while to figure out it was the swim suit. I have seen loads of pictures of Michael Phelps in a Speedo or other racing swim suit but I rarely see him in swim trunks or surf shorts.

Maybe it's me but Michael looks even better in this type of swim wear. Of course, he always has an amazing physique and a swimmer's body. However, he know seems to look more muscular than ever. His shoulders look a bit broader. I realize this might be an optical illusion as the shorts act to lengthen his torso. (Update: I have just read that he gained 15 pounds during his 6 month break from swimming)

One thing is apparent from the picture, swimming is a great way to increase your fitness, build muscles and shape your body. Swimming is a good muscular work out and is also a fantastic aerobic work out. If you are thinking about getting into shape, think about adding a few weekly swimming work outs to your fitness regime.

Michael Phelps looks great in a Speedo swim suit but he also looks pretty great in surf shorts. It's nice to see Michael taking part in some healthy activities in his spare time. Since the Olympic games, in which Michael Phelps dominated the swimming events, he has been photographed in bars and at parties, etc, etc. Seeing this picture of Phelps playing football on the beach is a real breath of fresh air. Good work Michael, but don't hurt yourself or twist an ankle on the beach. Remember the Rome Aquatic World Championships are just around the corner.

This site is full of pictures of Phelps in small speedo swim suits. I am pleased to include a picture of Michael Phelps in a different sort of swim suit for your viewing pleasure.

Michael Phelps at Rome Swimming World Championships

2009-07-15T05:13:00.000-07:00

Michael Phelps is at peak fitness and has a closet full of new tiny swim suits and they are both going on a trip. Phelps is taking his speedo swim suit and he is getting on a plane to Italia.

Swimming star Michael Phelps also has a secret and he is taking it to the pool. Phelps already has 14 Olympic and 17 world championship gold medals in his collection but he wants more.

According to the wearer of the smallest swim suit known to mankind, he has unfinished biz at the swimming world championships which start this Sunday. The nature of this unfinished business is a secret known only to Phelps and his coach. Beloved Debbie Phelps is not privy to what his specific swimming goals might be. Apparently throughout his fabulous swimming career, Michael jots down his goals and mails them to his coach. His coach then helps him reach his goals.

"When I retire I want to be able to look back at my career and say I did everything I wanted to do," Michael said at the recent U.S. world trials. "I still have times I want to hit, I still have other personal goals I want to achieve before I quit the sport. I've been writing my goals on a piece of paper and mailing them to Bob for 13 years now."

I suppose that Phelps fans everywhere might get a glimpse at his new swimming goals at the end of this month. At the world championships Phelps will focus on the shorter swimming events as he continues his transformation from an all-rounder swimmer to sprinter.

At the 2007 world championships in swimming, Phelps took home seven gold medals. Now he appears to be working part time. This time around he has set himself much more modest, even leisurely, objectives. In Rome he will swim in only three individual events -- the 200m freestyle, 100m butterfly and 200m butterfly.

There were rumors that swim suit clad Michael Phelps lacked motivation following his record eight gold medals at the Beijing Games. There were also rumours that he had been reckless with his fitness regime. He smashed those rumours in epic fashion at the U.S. Swim Nationals by destroying the 100 butterfly world record.

His display at the U.S. Swim Nationals confirmed he was back to full fitness after a six month layoff the Beijing Olympic Games. Sadly, that hiatus included a three-month suspension from USA Swimming when he was snapped inhaling from a bong.

During his time away from swimming Phelps gained nearly seven kilograms or 15.5 pounds and contemplated an early retirement. It was good news to all of us when he decided to seek more gold and glory (and sponsorship money) at the 2012 London Olympics.

Fingers are crossed for Phelps to be at peak fitness in the coming weeks. I will be sure to watch Phelps and his tiny swim suit as he swims his way to glory at the Rome World Championships.

Michael Phelps Came Second in Swimming

2009-05-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

Oh dear, Michael Phelps came second in a swimming race for the first time in over a year. This is just as the summer swim season heats up and the world championship swimming contest looms in the near future.

Yesterday, while competing in the Charlotte UltraSwim swim meet in North Carolina, the multi Olympic gold medalist and best swimmer in the world came second in the 100-meter backstroke to swimmer Aaron Peirsol! Michael Phelps was trailing by half a second at the turn and just could not make up the difference.

Peirsol finished the backstroke race in 53.32 seconds while Michael Phelps took a relatively disappointing 53.79 seconds to cover the 100-metres. Less than half a second might not sound like much but it is a good half body length. Not that coming scond to Peirsol is any great disgrace. Currently, the world record in this event is owned by Peirsol. He set this swimming record in the heats of the Beijing Olympic games at a blistering 52.54 seconds. Peirsol was wearing his new Arena swim suit. There was no word on the swim suit worn by Phelps.

Frankly, I see this as a good thing for Michael Phelps. No swimmer or any athlete at all can win all of the time. Having a challenge or a challenger can be a huge motivator. I hope this shakes the tiny speedo swim suit wearer out of complacency and into serious training mode. If he wants to maintain his status as the current reigning swimming world superstar he needs to stop acting like a drink-addled celebrity and start focusing on his swimming training. He might want to ditch the distracting girlfriend to boot.

The 2012 London Olympic Games are only three years away. Michael Phelps has said he wants to be there and presumably he wants to match the success he had in Beijing. If he does in the 2012 London Olympic Games what he did in Beijing he will cement his status as the best swimmer in the world for his lifetime.

Michael Phelps continues to be the best swimmer in the world. He now might have to put some more time into wearing his swim suit.

Michael Phelps Mother Reveals All - Debbie Phelps Book 'A Mother For All Seasons'

2009-04-02T18:59:00.000-07:00

Mamma Phelps is finally talking!

Debbie Phelps' upcoming memoir, A Mother for All Seasons, tackles the highs and lows of her son Michael Phelps' career littered with scandal!

Mamma Phelps' reaction to 'Bong-Gate' when her Olympic winning son was caught on camera takin' a hit of some of the good shiz?

"Déjà vu all over again," Debbie lamented.

To refresh your memory, our favorite swimming sensation Michael Phelps was arrested in 2004 for driving drunk when he was only 19 years old.

"It was unreal - like something out of a horror movie - with TV clips of jail cell doors slamming ominously shut, dooming the life and career of one golden boy turned loser," she recalled of her son's DUI.

"He actually had tried to get someone else to drive after he had a few drinks… Apparently someone in the crowd made a crack about not giving the keys to his brand-new Range Rover to someone else," Debbie revealed.

Peer pressure, eh?

Unfortunately, not a valid excuse!

Momma Phelps was distressed over Michael's "disappointing, uncharacteristic behavior" of the toke seen around the world, but she laid the blame on herself when it came to his 2004 arrest.

Debbie concluded, "I was sure that I could have done something to better prepare Michael to make better choices."

Don't blame yourself, honey!

You will have to accept sooner or later, your son is not quite the "golden boy" that you see him as!

Michael Phelps - Bonged

2009-02-05T19:29:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official - Michael Phelps and his Speedo will be a bit drier in the next 3 months. As of February 5th, Michael Phelps was suspended from swimming competition for three months by USA Swimming, the latest fallout from a photo that showed the Olympic superstar sucking on a big bong.

The sport's national governing body also cut off its financial support to Phelps for the same three-month period, effective Thursday.

It turns out that Michael didn’t break any anti-doping rules but the governing body decided to send a strong message to Michael because he disappointed so many people, particularly the hundreds of thousands of USA Swimming member kids who look up to him as a role model and a hero.

Michael was dumb to put himself in a situation where he might be photographed doing something dumb. But I don’t think he should be punished by USA Swimming for just being dumb. He is after all the best competitive swimmer in the world!

Earlier on the same day, cereal and snack maker Kellogg Co. announced it wouldn't renew its sponsorship contract with Phelps, saying his behavior is "not consistent with the image of Kellogg." You might remember that a nearly naked Micheal Phelps appeared on the company's cereal boxes after his competitive swimming Olympic triumph.

Tiny Speedo man has acknowledged "regrettable" behaviour and "bad judgment."
The 23-year-old Phelps has resumed intensive swimming training in his hometown of Baltimore, near our lovely Debbie Phelps, but his plans to return to competitive swimming will have to be put on hold. Phelps had planned to compete in early March at a Grand Prix meet in Austin, Texas. Oops! He now won't be racing until early May. This gives our boy with the tiny swimsuit a little more than two months to prepare for July's world championships in Rome.

After serving his time, Micheal Phelps would be able to compete at a May meet in Charlotte, North Carolina, and in another Grand Prix competition in Santa Clara, California in June. The U.S. team for Rome World Championships will be chosen at the national championships, which begin on July 7th.

To add insult to injury Michael Phelps coach was quoted as saying "He's been very good in practice, I think he feels good to be back in the water. Certainly, he's not in very good shape.” Yikes, July isn’t that far away!

So, just to keep your spirits up, I'm including just about my favorite almost nude Michaeal Phelps picture. (I hope I'm not double posting)

Michael Phelps Bong

2009-02-02T18:04:00.000-08:00

(I know- this isn't a Michael Phelps nude picture, but I'm trying to add some editorial credibility to my Michael Phelps naked blog. Yaaa, just kidding :-) I couldn't be literary if I tried, I'm only in it for the pictures. But even though it lacks the typical swimsuit content, I did feel that I needed to post this pic and my own commentary.)

Oh oh ... our golden boy, eight time Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps seems to have been caught red handed ... or shall we say red bonged. Over the weekend, The British 'News of the World' tabloid published this picture of Michael Phelps smoking a bong at a November 6th (2008) student party at the University Of South Carolina in Columbia . He showed up unannounced at a house party, and as the story goes, spent the entire weekend partying pretty hard.

There is so much controversy over this story, I can't help but wonder how poor Michael is doing. I thought his statement to the press over the incident -

I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old, and despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me.

was suitably repentent. I just hope that the powers that be won't try to set an example of Mike, and don't take things to such an extreme that the spectacular swimming career of my favorite cutie is tarnished beyond recovery. Let's hope that it all blows over (yes, that's a pun) and is left in the past the same way that his young and foolish DUI incident seems to have been.

I think it's important to note that the famous swimmer had previously taken 1,500 drug tests and never failed one - it's too bad that people are so jealous or desperate that they publicize these sorts of things to the tabloids. It would be sad to think that a bit of celebrating in the off-season, with an activity that is certainly widely accepted, would ruin the reputation and financial success of any individual. Let's hope all goes well for our favorite swimmer Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps Swimming

2008-12-04T21:29:00.000-08:00

Well, Michael Phelps is almost swimming in this picture. Another .5 of a second and he'll be in the water, I bet you anything. I thought it was just an awesome shot, I wanted to post is even if I didn't have anything in particular that I wanted to write about Michael Phelps today. Which is odd, because who can't find something interesting to say about the greatest swimmer of all time, not to mention the best speedo swim suit model of all time? I have to say, Speedo must be so happy about Michael Phelps coming along and breaking all those records. Even if we are fast approaching the end of another year, and I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND PICTURES OF MICHAEL PHELPS NAKED, well, my collection of awesome Michael Phelps swim suit model pictures is still awesome in itself. I've had fun finding and posting all these pics, and keeping everyone up to date on Michael's social events. Hope the next year brings as much success to Michael as last year, and I'll be there to record it on my little Michael Phelps nude blog.

dear Michael Phelps, don’t screw up your deal with Speedo

2008-12-02T16:12:00.000-08:00

Michael Phelps, our super hot Speedo poster child, may be up to his teeny bathing suit in a dating scandal and it doesn’t sound like he is focusing much on his swimming or his enormous endorsement potential.
A celebrity Web site, called TMZ.com ran photographs on Friday in which Michael Phelps' girlfriend, a Las Vegas cocktail waitress named Caroline "Caz" Pal, appeared to be posing topless in a series of photos. Michael reportedly took “Caz” home to meet his mother over Thanksgiving weekend.
How embarrassing for Debbie. Michael needs to be careful of his reputation given that he has the potential to rake in loads of endorsement cash.
The Web site purportedly shows “Caz”, 26, in silly and provocative photos both alone and with other girls. In one photo, she is on a bed sandwiched between two girls in short shorts that read "Got Ho's?" on their bottoms and "My ex-girlfriend is a stripper." How classy! That will really help Michael’s endorsement opportunities.
Phelps, 23, has been a Las Vegas regular since his magnificent performance at the Beijing Olympics, which earned him a $1 million bonus from Speedo. He has been taking poker lessons in hopes of playing in the World Series of Poker here next year.
Dear Michael has been seen partying and making out in public with “Caz”, who works at Moon nightclub in the Palms Fantasy Tower. What wonderful news for Speedo! On Oct. 23, Phelps was seen partying in a hoodie with “Caz” at Tao nightclub at The Venetian after attending a pool-side event at Simon at Palms Place. He apparently was media-shy at Palms Place, ducking reporters during a red carpet appearance. Does Michael know that he shouldn’t even be near a pool in clothing? I suppose the lack of Speedo combined with the proximity of the pool made him uneasy.
However, better to be uneasy than be an idiot. At Tao, he jumped up on a DJ stand and was "mouthing words to a rap song," an unnamed source commented. "He went from being real low key to being kind of out there. He acted like a dumb kid."
According to a Los Angeles talent agency that tracks the endorsement appeal of celebrities, Phelps ranked No. 1 in the first index compiled after the Beijing Olympics. He beat out basketball legend Michael Jordan, who earns $45 million a year in endorsements, and movie star Tom Hanks.
Don’t screw up your deal with Speedo, dear Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps' speedo can't take all the credit

2008-10-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

Why is Michael Phelps such a swimming phenomenon? More importantly, who doesn't agree with me that Michael Phelps' speedo is my new favorite brand of swimsuits?

The first place to start is with Michael Phelps incredible body. He stands 6-4 with a wingspan of nearly 80 inches. By all accounts, his frame is perfect for a swimmer. Michael understands how to use his body to its full advantage (oh really? ;-)).

As a swimmer, his physical attributes give him a huge headstart ... his hands and feet are like paddles in the water, and he has an incredibly powerful kick. The butterfly is his signature stroke, but he’s shown the ability to dominate in any event. Michael Phelps’s swimming technique is excellent, and no one seems to work harder at it.

Michael Phelps swim training regimen is grueling—two to five hours a day in the pool. He does minimal weightlifting; at this point flexibility and a feel for the water are more important to him. (Maybe that's his excuse in wearing a super small speedo? ) The leg strength Michael added during his 2007 wrist-injury rehab was evident in Beijing on his powerful turns.

In the swimming events where he trailed, he made up an extraordinary amount of time pushing off the wall. Which meant that in the races he won on speed alone, he was also winning by a greater margin after each turn. That extra power in Michael Phelps kick also bought him the hundredth of a second edge he needed to come from behind in the 100-meter butterfly. I’m sure we all remember that race with butterflies in our stomach.

His physique notwithstanding, (along with his spectacular swimming fashion sense), endurance may be Michael Phelps’s single greatest asset. He’s able to hold his swimming stroke under pressure when fatigue begins to creep in. From a mind over matter standpoint, Michael is also off the charts. His ability to relax, focus and block out the pain all at once is unique in his sport. He never seems nervous before a race, yet his intensity on the starting block is unmatched.

It is awe-inspiring how amazing Michael Phelps, swimmer extrodinaire, actually is. I continually write articles about Michael Phelps bathing suits (small ones of course, and speedo is my favorite), and my desire to see Michael Phelps naked, but today I thought I should just remind myself and all the readers just what an incredibly accomplished athlete Michael Phelps really is.

I welcome your comments or tributes to Micheal Phelps. I would especially welcome comments from an expert in fluid dynamics who could discuss the performance advantages of Michael Phelps' speedo being really super teeny tiny. I’m being serious. Really.

Michael Phelps Magazine Covers

2008-10-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

Even before Michael Phelps and his tiny bathing suit photos started hitting the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games celebrity scene, and even before he turned 20, Michael Phelps and his tiny Speedo were featured on dozens of magazine covers (and the odd cereal box).

Objective and quantifiable proof that people want to see more of Michael Phelps Speedo photos! The following is a partial list of these covers from 2003 and 2004. I can’t include more recent covers including post-Beijing covers as I would be typing non-stop until December.

USA Today, August 2004
Wheeties, September 2004
Sports Illustrated, August 2004
Communication Arts, August 2004
TV Guide, August 2004
Time, August 2004
Sports Illustrated, July 2004
Boys Life, August 2004
ESPN Magazine, March 2004
New York Times Magazine, Summer 2004
Sports Illustrated, August 2004 (for the second time in a month)
Parade Magazine, August 2004
And so on………..

So how many more nearly naked Micheal Phelps magazine cover shots will we be lucky enough to see before Amanda Beard thinks Michael Phelps is more than just a small bathing suit? Well, it doesn't really matter, as long as we keep getting to see Michael Phelps in his nearly naked tiny bathing suit all over the newsstands.

Michael Phelps sex symbol; he says not

2008-09-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, Michael Phelps is finally home! He squeezed into one of his teeny tiny super low speedos and had a swim work out for the first time since forever. Michael Phelps splashed down in the water this week for the first time since the Beijing Olympics – and says: "It was painful."

At his hometown pool in Baltimore, the super sexy swimming champ, age 23, unveiled a new series of Kellogg's cereal boxes Thursday morning and admitted, "I'm a little out of shape. But I will be able to get back. I am going to start working out more." I, for one, would love to see Michael Phelps with a kissable tummy pudge. I will look for pictures and post anything I can find.

Michael Phelps the tiger, is now sharing box fronts with Tony the Tiger. He was also presented a $250,000 check from the Kellogg company for his newly formed Michael Phelps Foundation, a charity aimed at promoting youth swimming.

From what I understand, this foundation remains Michael Phelps's number one focus until he begins training in 2009 for the 2012 Olympics. In a testament to his commitment to the Michael Phelps foundation he says "I think the little guys, the kids in the world, are going to be me in 10 years or so," he says. "So I'm just trying to promote a happy, healthy lifestyle." So sweet. While the Michael Phelps Foundation is important and admirable it’s not really very interesting. What are interesting are Michael’s comments on his love life.

And of course, what is really interesting are any hints that Michael Phelps might be GAY along with our more sordid interest in seeing "michael phelps naked". While he wouldn't talk about his dating life, Phelps lit up when asked about Herman – his English bulldog – who lived with friends over the summer. "I'm going to see him today," Phelps gushed. Ok, Ok, gushing over your dog is so diversionary that it is silly. We have all at one time of another been devoted to a pet but really……… Me thinks if Michael was so devoted to Herman he would have visited once or twice over the past month. Clearly his nonsense gushing is to divert attention from his actual love life.

Does anyone agree with me?

Admittedly shy by nature, Michael Phelps said his fame has been a constant surprise. According to People Magazine he went on to say "It’s different. It's fun. I'm enjoying the ride." Kinda like being on a rocket ship ride I would think!

People Magazine went on to ask Michael Phelps about all of the female attention he has been receiving since the Beijing Olympics. And guess what he said???????? You won’t believe what he said. I don’t believe what he said and I’m pretty sure that even Michael Phelps doesn’t believe what he said. He said……are you ready? He said "I don’t really notice it. When I go out, go to dinner, I go out with friends, and we stay to ourselves. I don’t think of myself as a sex symbol. My mom is by far the most important woman in my life."

Holy Michael Phelps must be gay, Batman!! First things first, how can Michael Phelps not notice the attention he is getting? How can he not notice that pictures of Michael Phelps nearly naked are everywhere. There can’t be another person on the face of the plant that appears in the news daily wearing such a skimpy, barely covering his noodle speedo. No man ever forgets his noodle so we all know that Michael Phelps knows that whole world has seen him almost naked.

Second thing, Michael Phelps spoke gay. According to beloved Michael, Debbie Phelps is the most important woman in his life! That is adorable and everything, but it is sooooooo GAY. Only a gay man would say that his mother was the most important woman in his life. And Gay ol’ Michael Phelps said his mother was BY FAR the most important woman in his life. Gay ditty Gay Gay! So Michael Phelps didn’t actually say he was gay, but he did the next best thing by engaging in undeniable gayspeak, we conjecture wishfully.

Am I the only one to come to this conclusion about Michael Phelps?

Oct. 4 to be hometown day for Michael Phelps

2008-09-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

Wow, Michael Phelps the swimming super hasn’t been home yet? That doesn’t make sense. He must be tired. And I read a month ago that he missed his dog. Who is looking after the dog while Michael Phelps plays with the bunnies ... Michael Phelps and the Playboy Bunnies that is ? Does the dog know about the Bunnies? And, as I always end up asking, do you think there might have been a chance that the playboy bunnies saw Michael Phelps naked? OOOOOH I hope not ... not before me!! So many questions! Michael just go home.

So it now appears that Michael Phelps will in fact make it home. The homecoming celebrations for our Olympian hero will be October 4th, and tens of thousands are expected, officials said. I guess that means his whole town! The world media says Michael Phelps is from Baltimore but we know better. He is from Towson, dude.

The "Parade of Gold" will be in Michael Phelps hometown, and will be followed by a "Star-Spangled Salute" with music and fireworks at Fort McHenry later that evening. There seems to be very little chance that we will be able to see Michael Phelps naked at this event.

Mr. Phelps won a record eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics last month. The events next month also will honor fellow swimmer and Olympic silver-medalist Katie Hoff, of Towson, and Paralympic gold-medalist Jessica Long, of Middle River. I find is unreal that these little towns produced 3 medal winning Olympians in swimming! They must grow them fast and strong there.

County, city and state officials are asking businesses to contribute $300,000 for the events. Whaaaa ? Obviously, there should be a parade for the Olympians but does it really cost $300,000.00 for a parade? Seems a bit steep to me. Just think of other good things that could be done with 300K.

Michael Phelps mother, Debbie Phelps, said athletes are models for the next generation and she is proud of her son sending out a message of believing in one's self. That, of course, is true. But we all know that Debbie Phelps is the one who taught Michael to believe in himself. I hope Debbie gets to go in the parade. Maybe $300,000 could even rent her one of those fancy convertible boats with horns on the front. White would be best ... you know, it's not going to clash with anything she wears. Always try to find a huge white convertible if you're going in a parade.

Baltimore County Executive James T. Smith Jr now thinks that Towson is now the center of the swimming universe and that he watched the swimming at the Olympics while he recovered from heart-bypass surgery. "I couldn't have asked for better therapy," he said. We all hope Mr. Smith completely recovers and starts to exercise a bit.

Mr. Smith was joined for the announcement in the library of Mr. Phelps' alma mater by Gov. Martin O'Malley and Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon, the school's marching band and cheerleaders. I think it’s so cute when schools have marching bands. Can these bands play standing still or sitting, or do they always have to be marching? Do schools with marching bands also have sitting bands for the un-co-ordinated kids who can’t walk and play without huge marching band pile-up disasters? I’ve always thought marching bands are like music class and gym class at once. I wonder if they have a long distance debating teams …. ok enough, back to Michael Phelps.

As a student at the school, Mr. Phelps was low-key and down to earth, said Principal Jane N. Barranger. Their nickname for him is the "Golden General" after the school's mascot. They named him after a mascot? How dumb. Oh well, the school has a marching band so it’s still very cute.

"We all knew he was going to go to the Olympics," Mrs. Barranger said. After the Athens Olympics it was a very good guess, she failed to add.

Some of the students who attended the announcement said the fact that Michael Phelps hometown-hero status makes his achievements especially inspiring. "He walked the same halls I walk, " said Janae Johnson, a 17-year-old senior. "It makes it more real."
Michael Phelps is a genuine swimming hero and I hope he gets a hero’s welcome when he gets home, and that would definately including a marching band.

Michael I'll be your frosted flake

2008-09-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

The announcement that Olympic Michael Phelps will be pitching Kellogg's Frosted Flakes instead of the traditional athlete's choice of Wheaties has left many perplexed and pissy.

Given that I’m a frosted flake (if you haven't noticed by now) I think the relationship is wonderful and perpetuates my fantasy of Mike being a frosted flake too. (well, that is second to my fantasy of seeing michael phelps naked) However, there are those that don’t agree with me.

Apparently, Frosted Flakes has three times the amount of sugar as Wheaties and 1/3rd the fiber!! Who knew?

Phelps is now being criticized by health experts who are worried about the message he'll be sending to children across America. As we know, childhood obesity is becoming quite the problem in America and Phelps giving the thumbs up to sugary cereal sends the wrong message, experts say.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think kids are fat because they sit on their tushes playing video games and watching TV all day and eats mounds of crap and drink buckets of pop. And, at the end of the day it's up to mom and dad not to buy crap for their kids, right?

And don’t we think that seeing all those great Micheal Phelps pictures that have proliferated the interweb since the 2008 Olympics has done enough to promote fitness for kids?

Give me a break! It’s not like he’s promoting cigarettes, or booze, or even Doritos!

Will Michael Phelps be Naked on Tonight’s SNL?

2008-09-13T09:37:00.000-07:00

Today’s buzz is about tonight’s show and a certain special host’s skit costumes. Yup, that right, darling Michael Phelps is hosting Saturday Night Live tonight, and the whole world is a-twitter.

Saturday Night Live cast member Kristen Wiig has been counting the minutes, or so she says until the NBC show returns this weekend. And I have been pretty darn excited about it myself.

"I'm excited to meet Michael Phelps!" she told people at the Toronto Film Festival. "He's gonna be naked in all the sketches I write, for sure." Or maybe just wearing a Wiig?

There was no chance of Michael Phelps being naked on Oprah or the VMAs but maybe SNL? The 23-year-old Phelps, our eight gold medal hero at the 2008 Summer Olympics, will have plenty of costume changes. Various news sources and bloggers have confirmed that Michael will be wearing very small speedos and is doing an AquaMan skit. I will be wildly disappointed if he doesn’t wear something wildly small.

And while Phelps may not have any acting experience, Wiig is sure he'll do just fine, and so are we. "I love having athletes there because they're trying something new," she explained. "It's fun to see someone that you have seen do so well in ... sport come on and do something they've never done before. It's very rewarding."

Wiig sounds very sweet. We hope she gets to work with a naked Michael Phelps. One thing is for sure, Michael Phelps on Saturday Night Live will give them a huge ratings bump. Hmmmm, just like the bump in Michael Phelps’ speedo!?

What is the value of eight golds in Beijing ?

2008-09-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

This could buy beloved Mrs. Phelps a lot of baubles.

Michael Phelps gorgeous hot bod just got a bit hotter. How much hotter?

Well, Michael Phelps and his hot spectacular swimsuit model bod just got like $100 million dollars hotter!

Michael Phelps agent stated, “What is the value of eight golds in Beijing before a prime-time audience in the US? I’d say 100 million dollars over the course of his lifetime.” Wow.

His agent said that he’s been getting around 50 offers a day. 50 offers a day! That’s like an offer every 12 minutes over a 10 hour day. Nowif that doesn't buy him more fans, I don't know what will!!!

Michael already has deals with Speedo, Hilton, Omega and Kellogs. One industry expert said that if he leaves Speedo, Nike could pay him up to $50 million. Hmm, if he can get $50 million in one shot then isn’t $100 million shooing a bit low?

And if those are for the skimpy bathing suit shots, me thinks it's going to be out of my price range to arrange a naked photo shoot of Michael Phelps. Dang.

Wardrobe Malfunction ?

2008-09-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

Michael Phelps had a wardrobe malfunction? Whaaaaaa? Outta my way !

When we first heard of Phelps’ wardrobe malfunction, we got a little excited. Ok, a lot excited. Did his speedo come off during the race? Am I in heaven? Am I finally going to see Micheal Phelps naked?

Sadly, we didn’t see Michael Phelps’naked. His wardrobe malfunction wasn’t what we all hoped! This hot bod does wear his speedos awfully low, which some people (wink, wink) like! It really wouldn’t take much for that skimpy lycra to catch a pull and unravel.

Unfortunately it was just his goggles! In the 200 m butterfly, water flooded into Michael Phelps’ goggles. Phelps referred to this as a “wardrobe malfunction”.

Funny guy, Phelps said that he just did not strap his goggles on properly. Phelps was grateful for the 2sec comfort zone he had on the world going into the race, to make up for this mistake. Phelps swam the last two laps of the 200 butterfly virtually blind because his goggles had filled with water.

I would never have wanted anything to interfere with Michael’s quest for Olympic Gold but I’m kinda wishing for a little more exciting wardrobe malfunction in a smaller meet….like State Championships. He would probably be grateful of any technical assistance I offered up, even though that would blow any chances of seeing michael phelps nakes. Ah, the sacrifices I am willing to make!

Oooooh Michael Phelps ALMOST Naked!

2008-09-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

Well, this is very exciting. We're getting very close to our goal of seeing michael phelps naked. We're not going to give up, I'm constantly on the lookout for the best 'almost naked' shots of michael. While I'm working hard on that, just enjoy this super cute pic of michael's butt ...

2008-08-22T04:18:00.000-07:00

Michael Phelps: 'The Bachelor'

Can this be true? Can this possibly be true? MSNBC is either reporting or speculating that beloved Michael Phelps might appear on the “The Bachelor”.

Apparently, super-swimmer Michael Phelps (naked?) is going to get calls from every television show in the country before the big giant feet stomp out of the Olympic Stadium and the lights dim on the closing ceremonies. But for the best fit, according to them he'll need to look no further than "The Bachelor."

Michael Phelps is young, single, good-looking (take that, Amanda Beard), famous, and boyishly charming and soon to be stinking rich. It wouldn't take long to find 25 women eager to get him to propose. Every single Hollywood starlet would be calling their agents to secure a spot on the show. Hmmm, but he’s only 23.

We think he’s too young and hot to get married.

As viewers of “The Bachelor” well know, women who appear on "The Bachelor" are willing to stretch the bounds of decency and set feminism back decades to win the heart of the average run-of-the-mill contestant. If they spat and scratch over a guy like Jesse Palmer, who was just a third-string NFL quarterback, what might they do for Phelps?

I’m looking forward to some really good naked hot tub scenes but in the end I hope he doesn’t propose.

Amanda Beard is a nasty girl and a dirty girl

2008-08-22T04:07:00.000-07:00

We all knew that Amanda was egotistical dirty girl after dropping her towel for Playboy magazine and know we now she is a mean nasty girl too. Olympic swimmer and medal machine Michael Phelps may have what it takes to win over America’s hearts, but he’s just not good enough for former women’s breaststroke champ and queen of mean Amanda Beard.

Rumors of romance between the athletes began to circulate earlier this week, and while the beloved Michael Phelps just denied them, Amanda took to the airwaves on a popular radio show and made it clear that she found idea of dating the golden boy repulsive.

When asked if she ever kissed Michael, Amanda answered, “Ew, no!” Held hands? “Ew, no! Not even that.” Even the mere suggestion that Michael might be attracted to her inspired an “ew-that’s-so-nasty” response.

What’s so icky about dating Michael Phelps? It seems that Beard doesn’t care for his appearance.

“C’mon, I have really good taste,” she told the radio hosts. “He’s not really my type, personally.” Laughing, she added, “I go for a little bit different-looking guys.”

Me thinks she is a tad competitive and a tad attention seeking and a tad rumpled out of sorts because Mr. Michael Phelps is getting way more attention than she is. Me also thinks she has an exaggerated opinion of her own looks.

A few days later she apologized, sort of, and said any one who knew her would know she was just joking as she is a big “jokester”. If that is the case she is just a dirty girl with no sense of humour.

2008-08-22T03:50:00.000-07:00

Will We See Michael Phelps' Speedo?

2008-08-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

I really really really hope so! I think I will phone Oprah personally and put in a special request. That is because next week we will see Michaeal Phelps on Oprah Winfrey!

Only Michael Phelps, the most winningest Olympian of all time, that’s who!

Michael Phelps who is generally almost naked, along with 150 other U.S. Olympic team members, will be on the season premiere of "The Oprah Winfrey Show." The 23rd season premiere of Winfrey's talk show will air September 8th. I hope he just wears a small Speedo .… a little one.Winfrey plans to tape the show at Chicago's Millennium Park.

Harpo Productions says Winfrey intends the show as a "welcome home celebration" and a chance to showcase Speedos and other small bathing suits, errrr I mean, Chicago as the city bids for the 2016 Summer Olympics. You know what I'm waiting for? I just want to see Michaeal phelps model speedos .... oooooh, teeny tiny Michael Phelps bathing suits, yum!

Other athletes expected to attend with the lovely and hot Michael Phelps include the beach volleyball gold medal team of Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, gold medal basketball players Carmelo Anthony, Lisa Leslie and Dwyane Wade, and silver medal swimmer Dara Torres. Hmmmmm, I notice bad ol’ Amanda Beard isn’t invited.

I hope Oprah (I love her) and Michael Phelps and all the other Olympians trash talk Beard for the whole show. Even better maybe Michael Phelps will announce he’s gay! I don’t suppose that will happen but Michael Phelps might wear a nearly naked small Speedo.

Check back for pics of hopefully Michael Phelps' speedo on the Oprah show.

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2008-07-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

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